Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
Randomize
