I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
Randomize