Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
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