Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
Randomize
