i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
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