Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
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