woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Randomize
