someone get that fucking seahorse.
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
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