I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
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