I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Randomize