if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
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