There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
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