weddingsv make me drug and hornr
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
Randomize
