meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
Randomize