i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
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