It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
Randomize
