On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
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