I don't usually arrange sex via text message
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
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