careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Randomize
