My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
