It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
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