remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
I think I have vodka in my lungs
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
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