Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
Randomize
