my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
Randomize
