Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
Everyone is drunk but me. Fantastic. Everyone is hooking up but me. Awkward.
I had a pitcher of margaritas. Now I'm in a laundry room being a 5th wheel and crying. I made myself a bed out of a pool floatie. I win.
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
Randomize
