Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
Randomize