so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
Randomize