I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
