He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
