great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
He better not be in your backpack
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
Randomize
