jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
Randomize
