Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
You took a bar mat shot.
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
Randomize
