dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
Randomize
