Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
Randomize
