Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Randomize
