i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Randomize
