what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
Randomize
