Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
Randomize
