He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
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