wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
Randomize
