Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Randomize
