Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize
