On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
