Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
Randomize