Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
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