I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
Tornado booty call.. dedication
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
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