The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Randomize
