seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
