You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Randomize