if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
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