The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
Randomize
