it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
Randomize
