Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
stop calling my apartment porn island.
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
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