its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
Randomize
