how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
Randomize
