Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
Randomize
