he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
Randomize
