Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
No I am not eating basil off your cock
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
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