if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
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