Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
Randomize
