Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
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