tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
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